Blame it on the Alcohol
by ginnmeadows
Summary: Edward is a newly divorced single parent out celebrating. What happens when you mix a responsible drunken Edward and a sexually frustrated Edward? You get a horny Edward, duh! What will he get into...or should I say who? FoxyFics o/s!


_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

_**A/N: This was my Foxy Fics one-shot, so you all can thank Katbug86 for it. Without her and Foxy Fics, this probably would have never seen the light of day. I'd like to thank my wonderful beta, JandMsmommy and my pre-reader, alisxvolatx21 for helping me with this. They too, have Foxy Fics one-shots. I hope you enjoy!  
**_

**Blame it on the Alcohol**

_EPOV_

"Daaddy…please. Can't I just go with you? I don't want to be alone," my daughter, Makenzi (Kizzy for short), whined.

"No, Precious. We have already discussed this. Daddy needs some 'me time' and children are not allowed where I am going. It's just like one of your play dates, only it's for grown ups," I replied, trying to sound as sweet and soothing as possible.

I had been trying to make it a habit of calling her "precious" to steer away from calling her "princess". She would always be my little princess. However, I felt that I should give her a new nickname since my brother, Emmett, named my new niece Princess. Yes, he actually named my one month old niece Princess…Princess Lillian Cullen.

He thought it fit perfectly because ever since he and his wife, Rosalie, started trying for children, all they ever got were boys. Together, they have five children under the age of seven. Princess is their most recent addition, and they were ecstatic to finally get a girl.

I still say they got lucky with Princess Lily, and they were smart to call it quits when she popped out. I have yet to see my niece, but hopefully Kizzy and I can make it up there one weekend soon.

Emmett had stayed in Maine with mom, who had originally moved there to be close to her father when he was diagnosed with Parkinson's. Rosalie joined him right after high school, desperately trying to get away from Forks.

"But Daddy, I don't want Miss Ashley. I want Mommy." Ashley was our regular babysitter, who Ben had called to his house to watch my daughter for the night.

The combination of Kizzy's pout and whine was almost enough to break me…almost. But Emmett and Ben were right; I needed this night out. Leah had been gone for three months now, and our divorce was final last week. She called to check on Kizzy weekly and told her to call whenever she wanted - day or night. When I asked her why she didn't call more often, she only said it was too hard, and I believed her since I could hear the pain in her voice. Kizzy missed her mom a lot, but she was taking it better than I expected.

So Ben was taking me out to celebrate tonight. Not only were we celebrating my divorce (which I can't say I was exactly happy about), but also the fact that he and his wife, Angela, just learned that she's pregnant.

"Kizzy, please. I would really like to go out tonight. So could you please just do this for me? If you cooperate, I promise when I pick you up in the morning, we will call Mommy first thing and then go out and do something fun," I pleaded, using the same pout that she gave me. _Where do you think she learned it from?_

She only nodded. It was a sad nod, but it was still a nod, nonetheless, so I would take what I could get. I was going to go outside of my bubble for a change and try to live a little. Emmett told me I needed to get laid, and not that I was going to try to, but it would be an added bonus if I did. _Mini E was getting quite bored with left and right._

I picked her up and put her on my hip, so we could make it to the car faster, and grabbed her Dora overnight bag. I tend to carry her when we are in a hurry, not because her legs are short but because my precious daughter is a klutz. She trips over anything and everything…including air.

We walked to the car, and I placed her in her booster seat in the back of my Avalanche then quickly, but safely, headed to Ben's.

I was just pulling up to Ben's when I noticed a dark green Malibu leaving his house, followed by Angela's car. She was going to be celebrating, too. Sans the alcohol, of course.

Ben met us at the door. "Well hello there, little Miss Makenzi," he said as he placed a sweet kiss on Kizzy's hand. She giggled and reached for him to pick her up. He did and planted a tiny kiss to her cheek as he did so. Kizzy absolutely adored the Cheney's and Ashley, too.

"Ash will be down in a minute. She was setting a movie up for Mac," Ben told me.

"Mac?" I questioned.

"Oh, yeah. Ash is keeping the little boy of a friend of Angela's tonight, too. So for the first time ever, Kizzy will have friend to play with while she's here," he replied.

"That's great. You hear that, Kizzy? You have a friend over tonight."

Her eyes got wide at that, and she began bouncing excitedly like a baby kangaroo. Kizzy spent a lot of time with the babysitter, Ashley, and they adored each other. There were many occasions where I had to work late and Leah was in one of her moods, rendering her incapable of taking care of our daughter.

"So you ready, man?" Ben asked.

"Uh yeah…just give me a minute so I can talk to Ashley about something," I told him. "Kizzy, take your stuff upstairs and let Ashley know that I would like to speak to her before we leave."

Kizzy jumped from Ben's arms, grabbed her stuff, and ran as fast as she could up the stairs. Actually, she stumbled three times. _I swear that kid will run track one day if she could ever get over her clumsiness._

Not long after, Ashley appeared downstairs. She greeted me and told me that she tried to get Mac to come down and meet me, but he was too shy.

"So what's up, Edward?" she asked me.

"Well, Kizzy will be starting Kindergarten soon and with me being a new single parent and all, I was wondering if you can help me out some. I'm willing to pay whatever you ask. I just don't want to have to put her in daycare with everything that she is going through. She needs someone she is familiar with until our lives get back on track," I explained.

"Well, actually, I have just been asked to be Mac's nanny, but all of the details won't be worked out until tomorrow. So I can give you a call tomorrow and see if we can work something out. Don't worry, Edward. I won't let you down," she told me.

"Of course. I can't argue with that," I responded.

I called Kizzy back downstairs to say goodbye as I stood at the foot of the stairs. She hurried to me while tripping on the last step and falling into my arms.

"Alright, Precious. I'm going to leave now, but I want you to promise me that you'll be nice to Mac and behave for Miss Ashley," I pleaded, but she understood the serious of my tone.

She smiled her biggest smile, and her eyes sparkled. Looking into her green eyes made me feel as though I were looking in the mirror. My pale white skin and Leah's dark russet complexion was the perfect combination, making Kizzy look like she spent a lot of time in the sun.

"I promise, Daddy. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye." She beamed, but I frowned. I hated the promise poem. The thought of my precious daughter causing bodily harm to herself made my blood boil.

"Don't say that, Precious. You know I hate those words."

"I'm sorry, Daddy, but I do promise to be a very good girl. And Mac is my very best friend in the wholed wide world. I would never ever never ever ever be mean to him." She promised with the utmost sincerity. How she could claim him as her best friend in less than ten minutes, I will never understand.

I kissed her goodnight. "Goodnight and sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. And remember to say your prayers." I always said that to her when I tucked her in at night, but seeing as how I wouldn't be tucking her in tonight, I felt it was a good idea to do it now.

She giggled and warned me to behave before she ran off to play with her new best friend.

Ben had called us a taxi and told me it was waiting. Apparently, we were doing some serious drinking tonight. The last time I got wasted was the night of the bachelor party my brother threw me.

It didn't take us long to get to the club called Twilight. From what I had heard, it was fairly new.

We walked into the club, calm and collectively and headed straight to the bar. I must admit, I felt out of place. Most of the people here looked younger than Ashley, making me feel like a century old vampire or something.

I don't know how long Ben and I sat at that bar talking, but I do know that I had three glasses of Patron Silver and had swatted more barflies than I can count. I was already feeling warm and buzzed when Ben told me he had to use the restroom. I stayed in my seat, continuing to drink and watching all the drunks make fools of themselves on the dance floor.

That was when I saw her. A gorgeous brunette, who moved and swayed her hips in a way I had never seen before. _Damn, she can move her body like a snake! _A light sheen of sweat coated her supple body as she danced to the pounding beat of the music.

I don't know what came over me, but I felt the sudden urge to be near her, with her. She was hella sexy. _Hella sexy? Since when does Dr. Edward Cullen talk like that? Oh yeah, since he drank three glasses of Patron._

I gazed at her for a moment, unsure if I should approach her or not after having had so much alcohol. But her soft curves, long brown hair, and ivory skin were luring me in, and I couldn't resist.

I walked over to her, stopping right behind her, and got close enough for her to hear me over the music. "Nice moves."

She spun around almost too quickly for my tipsy little self to notice_. _Once we were face to face,I'm almost positive that her brown eyes went straight from shock to lust filled in a matter of seconds.

"Nice smile," she replied in a soft, alluring voice. _That must mean she thinks I'm hot. God, I pray it does, because drunken Edward mixed with sexually frustrated Edward makes a horny Edward._

"Are you here alone?" I ask. I don't see a ring on her finger, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have a boyfriend. I would leave the moment I found out that she did, not wanting anyone to go through what I just went through with my ex.

"Nope," she replied. "I'm with a friend." _Good. So no boyfriend._

"Me too," I replied back. "Can I buy you a drink?" _She must know where I'm going with this…_

"Sure. Why not?" She answered with a seductive smile. _SCORE! So there is a God._

I grabbed her hand and pulled her through the crowd to the bar. I couldn't help but notice the slight electrical charge I felt when our hands met. It coursed its way through my body and was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. My fingers wanted to reach back and wander; feel her arms, her trim waist, her… _Damn alcohol… Get a hold of yourself, horny…wait…no…don't…at least not at the bar._

We sat down, and I ordered us identical drinks, promising that they would be good. She said she liked it and finished it quickly, so I ordered two more. We hadn't been talking long, but I felt instantly at ease and comfortable with her. _Comfortable enough to take her to bed. Right. now._

"So…what brings you and your friend here tonight?" I asked.

"Celebrating." She laughed. _What's funny? I wanna laugh, too._ I look around to see what could possibly be making her giggle like that. I may or may not be a wee bit paranoid as well in my drunken state.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah…my divorce is final, and my friend is pregnant," she said before taking a sip of her drink.

_Well, if that isn't a coincidence._.. I burst out laughing. "That's funny because I'm here celebrating with my friend because my divorce is final and his wife is expecting," I told her and she joined me in laughter.

She started fiddling with her phone, and I began to wonder where Ben was. I quickly called him, and he told me that Angela was there, but she wasn't feeling well so he was going to go home with her.

I'd never remember how long we continued to sit there, but my desire for her kept increasing. It may sound pathetic, but I really needed her…right then. Her luscious lips were drawing me in. _Damn it…what was her name again? Wait, did I even ask her name?_

"Your lips look very kissable," I said.

Her lovely cheeks turned the color of a strawberry, and it made her beauty more prominent. But I'm sure what she said next made my blush rival hers… and I never blush.

"So why don't you try them out." It came out as a command rather than a question.

_You don't have to tell me twice!_

I did as I was told and pressed my mouth to hers. She tasted sweet, and her taste alone woke Mini E up. Our lips moved together softly at first then with more force. I was growing painfully hard with each passing second. I knew I had to pull away or I'd be unable to stop myself from going further right there at the bar. So I broke the kiss and sat back with a smile.

"Yup...very kissable indeed," I told her. We fell into conversation again, asking each other random questions.

"Are you drunk?" she asked at one point. _Is it that obvious?_

"I'm…uhh…probably?…Very." I said with a chuckle. No need to lie. "Are you?"

"Yup." She giggled. It was like music to my ears, and I'm pretty sure Mini E enjoyed it, too. _God, even her giggle gets me going! _I awkwardly tried to readjust myself. I don't know how much longer I can last, but I knew I had to wait for her to make the first move.

"Wanna have sex?" she abruptly asked. I looked at her wide eyed, stunned by her boldness. It was as if she was answering my prayers. _She's sexy and can read minds._

"I thought you would never ask," I replied.

We practically ran out of the club, and I called us a cab. I told the driver to takes us to the Marriott.

Okay, so I was desperate. But at this point, I couldn't care less, and she was beautiful, and I wanted her. _Blame it on the Ah-ah-ah-Alcohol, blame it on the Ah-ah ah-ah ah-Al-co-hol…_

_**So what did you think? I'm thinking about continuing this, so let me know if I should? It was so much fun to write it!**  
_


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